Sometimes I think my vagina thinks its a penis.
Dude, no matter how drunk you are, it's not okay to hug every other guy at a strip club. Mainly because boners are far too common.
Just faked two orgasms bc I had too much wine and remembered mid sex that I bought doritos yesterday.
If you invite me to a bar tonight my liver will kick you in the testicles
My stomach literally has no contents left. Tequila cleanse=success.
I just masturbated to a Jock Jams cd. What have you done today?
he was cumming and all I could think about was the pathway of sperm the in penis. thanks a lot nursing
I ate her out for so long I might actually shit a vagina
Aaaaaaand, there's the title of my second book. "One Dick. Six Angles."
Well thank god i want six autographed copies
I need a genital shamwow being this wet.
My fridge door just caught on fire somehow.
Unintionally got shitfaced at study group this week. The waitress brought out a fishbowl of long Island iced tea. Challenge accepted.
Please explain the hospital band on my wrist.
Can you confirm that you aren't dead?
well that was a fail
maybe for you, but i got a free ice cube in my bra
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