Billy Mays is dead, Vince Schlomi is in jail, who's going to sell me useful gadgets at ridiculously low prices now?!
It's a good thing i didn't end up pregnant...i would have had to figure out his last name.
If letting him bang me while i'm wearing reindeer antlers and a painted red nose isn't the christmas spirit, I dont know what is
Well, there are worse ways to make $50 at a gay club.
Doing lines of coke through pieces of licorice. Because I can
Jesus himself couldn't make a better sandwich
Do you ever actually plan things? Or is it always drugs then whatever happens? I'm considering being worried about you
My jeans are ripped and her glitter was all over me.. My walk of shame looked like I fucked a unicorn last night
the bandages come off on Tuesday. we can try out my new breasts then.
Yesterday you said I was the best.
No. I said you DID your best. There's a huge difference.
I just had a sexting conversation using medieval jargon. I think he is a fine suitor.
I may or may not be sitting in a bubble bath drinking wine, watching Jurassic park, and wearing a Russian fur hat.
I dunno that I'd be trusting enough of junkyard tequila to drink it.
The stripper started talking about murdering people....that lapdance turned dark.....
So... Sex in my rain boots last night. Trashy or a great show of character?
If it was with a guy, trashy. Sex with a girl is never trashy.
Randomize
