im insabelyl wasted and diont know if ill yexyed tou. call me
If I saw Perez Hilton naked I think I would stick a lit candle down my throat.
you just can't say no to drugs on a mirrored table.
I wish real life had facebook tags so i could figure out who all these people are
I feel like Tiger Woods should send Jesse James a gift basket or something...
I wish they had an "I'm Stoned" genre on online Netflix
Apparently blazed enough to think that the sizzling meatballs in the pan were calling your name...Ssssteeeeeve
Jon thought he was that blonde chick from Three's Company when he was shrooming
I should have considered my snorting capabilities before breaking my nose
So I saw her today...and it was weird...she is just like not pregnant anymore.
Dude...how high are you? of course she isnt pregnant anymore...thats what happens when you give birth
Remember when you walked in on me sleeping INSIDE a pillowcase?
So why are your hands bright blue and have you seen my roommate.
Both questions will answer each other.
so is it socially acceptable to send her an "i got my man back you whore" card?
I am talking to a naked lesbian about robots. I think this means I win life.
Last thing googled on my laptop last night was vagina chaffing. What the fuck?
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