Did you just throw up mid-sentence?
Well we can cross off dogs, dating sites, and real life as ways to help you meet a chick.
he looked upset that i wasn't completely shaven. i reminded him he had begged. and beggars can't be choosers.
Do you know a sam ****, im at the bar right now and lookin for some dirt on her to guilt trip her in to sex
she was laying naked in the stream looking for "ribbays", which is apparently drunk for frogs.
nothing says "we're all in this together" like the herpes she passed around to our entire group of friends
Let me begin my 3 part apology by saying that you are a wonderful human being...
They can be so fun, drunk bruises are like clues to the treasure of what actually happened last night. "why do I have a bruise on my belly button? oh right. i was trying to turn my stomach off so I would stop throwing up."
Hot Italian guy literally came into my logic class just to get my number to study with me and left. America.
I feel like my nipples were chewed on by alligators.
The sound of my own breathing is making my head throb. That hungover.
I'm going to pretend you don't watch My Little Pony and focus on your large cock. Kay? Don't bring it up again.
Tbh you just need to fuck it out like I don't know another solution
Watching Colbert Report and porn at the same time.
How high do u want to get? Just kind of high or yelling at swans high...
Swans
Randomize
