I now officially know the distance between my two boobs is one twizzler.
STOP fucking him and come play in the snow with us!
I'm at the bass pro shop. They have a river full of trout and turtles, a shooting range, a full bar, and the patriots cheerleaders are here. I now understand why people are rednecks. I may never leave
fuck that im pissed. when I come back im ripping forskin off.
If we were unicorns we would fly together. Like in a pack. A pack of flying unicorns.
21st Birthday Idea: liquor store gift registry. Give me a promotion.
I just figured you know how to drive a boat and I know how to get drunk. What can go wrong
He calls it "his noble steed" and i plan to ride it.
Two word: claymation porn. Think about it.
I don't think I can ever express my appreciation for the things you text me.
I DO NOT KNOW WHO SHE IS, WE HAVE NO MORE FRUIT, SHE CAN'T STAY HERE.
You are under a naked attack watch for the whole weekend. Shelter in place.
Our nipples touched last night. It was tender.
Im just an angry damaged little elf who wanders around and tries to find drugs.
That seems dangerous to buy acid from a stranger on craigslist
uh...sober saturday NEVER has a good ring to it.
Randomize
