i don't know her name but she is cooking me brkfst then helpin me find my car.
she hot?
i don't wanna talk about it
just ate pastrami before passing out in my hotel room. My room smells like a petting zoo
Just saw the homeless asian lady making a hispanic man pull her shopping cart with a harness. I love Boston.
Why the hell did you invite him? He's gonna bring two more inches of dick and zero fun.
We found Kyle. He was next door yelling at the elderly couple to let him continue his golf game. No more afternoon drinking for him.
But the guy you're fucking should not be within ten pounds of your weight when you're five fucking feet tall and he's 6'2". That's all I'm saying.
She's like the Oprah of therapy. AND YOU GET A STRAITJACKET. AND YOU GET A STRAITJACKET. WITH A PADDED ROOOOM
If a marine in My bed is not considered a valid excuse for missing class then I don't want to live in America anymore
He wants to tie me naked and spread out on his table, press a vibrator to my clit and feed me ice cream.
That is my stoner wet dream!
he played intl players anthem 4me and ate a strawberry out of my pussy
The minute he showed me his Mumford and sons tattoo is the minute i could literally feel my pussy dry up
I'm like bob the builder except I'm fixing boners.
I know where his drugs are but not my pants
No one can explain why there is Dora the Explorer shampoo in my shower...
just licked the cheese off a burger. that high.
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