dude. I'm so drunk.
pete, this is bryce's mom
I can't wait to have my cock in your ass
pete, this is still bryce's mom
I told him I'm not paying rent anymore because he's seen my boobs.
A chick at the bar last night took my black berry, looked at my Brick Breaker score and told me she couldnt take someone that has a lower score than her seriously.
what part of covering your puke with shaving cream seemed like a good idea?
Some chick in the back of my Psychologhy of Addictions class just did a line off her hand. She tried to make it look subtle.
I cant wait for your democrat phase to be over.
I just did the math, I've had 8 hours of sleep in the last 3 days. Not sure if that means I am dedicated to my sex life or my job...
I let him fuck me in a batman costume. Don't talk to me about needing to read fifty shades gray.
You know you had a good time when you get the wheelchair treatment in Mexico back to your cruise.
only i would get off to receiving death threats online
Learn from my mistakes. DO NOT try to steam a garment of clothing while you are wearing it. The burn is not worth the de-wrinkle.
Fun fact: I came home from the riverboat without my panties. And woke up with a different pair on.
just showered sitting down cuz standing seemed like too much work, thursdays need to stop making me their bitch.
He had a small dick and screamed "I will kill you if you don't get hard" to it in German...awkward time to have to explain I speak German too...
This is why you need to stop sleeping with freshmen.
What are you feeling right now?
Idk. I just flashed a porch 🤷🏼♀️
So not in the best place to do an emotional inventory
Randomize
