How would you go about getting a hold of the country star that you slept with and are now potentially pregnant with their baby...?
myspace Music?
You said you didn't want to drink anymore so you started shooting vodka down the back of your throat using a syringe. Oh, and then you aimed it at my eye ball...vodka in the eye hurts btw.
Besides. I seriously had a dream that George W Bush came over and slapped some tabs down on my kitchen counter and said "let's get juiced.". It was a sign to not get too fucked up
I feel like we should actually go to church one of these days to thank god for saving us from herpes and babies.
After some trial and error I found soaking my balls in maple syurip helps ease the pain.
We found you in the middle of the road chucking gravel because "the house was too far away".
Guess who has two thumbs and just fell outta his car and almost peed himself
Just gave my liver a good luck and I'm sorry speech
Who knows. Maybe the world would be a better place if more people sent their drug dealers thank you cards.
I was watching porn and wanted to change the tab to another video to cum but I clicked the wrong tab and it was a gif of a dog but I was coming and couldn't do anything so did I jill off to a dog? I feel like I should be guilty
I came to the conclusion that Tinder and having the day off are not good for my relationship.
You came home screaming the lyrics to Drunk in love, and dumped wine on me when I said you would never be Beyoncé
I know that whole thing was awkward. Not worth the piece of cake.
ARE YOU DEAD? TEXT Y FOR YES OR N FOR NO.
If I'm getting through this pandemic I'm doing it drunk.
Randomize
