She's like the female version of the Momento guy. She keeps forgetting that I'm an asshole after we have sex.
Just lost my virginity while listening to rick astley. torn between horror and jubilation
Dude they have ski ball. Anywhere that has skiball is bound to be bangin.
There's going to be a pool, lightsabers and alcohol. What could go wrong?!
yeah its nbd she just bit me in the face. be there soon
You had me at "mimosas" several texts ago.
Just had that moment when you realize the two drunk women shoving all their money down your clothes were your middle school teachers...
I'm at a bar where I literally walked in to the bathroom and some chick told me to never go to San Joaquin state pen
I knew no one else would have gone along with it since it's morally wrong and probably illegal. You said, "Yes. And let's add fireworks."
My dad slapped my ass the other day and say I was "doing the family name good". I feel...proud
He got naked after doing the Ice Water Challenge and it was still enormous. So, yeah, I stayed over.
He said his name was Tony, after last night I will refer to him as Tiny
Currently on my Sunday walk of shame. Should I go to church?
my bed is a shrine, and I am its goddess.
I got here. Mom yelled "drink of the day is blueberry sangria" and next thing I knew I was on a slip and slide.
Randomize
