this is the second time this summer that a girl has called me a ken dol
you shouldn't let them see you without your pants on
Dude, no matter how drunk you are, it's not okay to hug every other guy at a strip club. Mainly because boners are far too common.
At this point it has been so long i wouldnt know what a dick was if it slapped me in the face.
Fun Fact: The stage were about to graduate on is where we once drove a van and kidnapped someone.
Fun Fact 2: My parents are sitting by the bushes I peed in this weekend.
Dignity is for republicans.
I know its been a few months but you must know you hve the 2nd biggest dick I've ever seen. 1st place went to a rapper so don't feel bad.
We're in the emergency room. He concussed himself trying to pop all the bubbles on my "one bubble a day" wall calender with his face.
You know it is an interesting night when the 911 operator calls you
Are you setting a date to bone me?
Are you accepting?
Please tell me you're not home alone watching Glitter.
Can you see in?
That makes 14 Xmas cards already! Middle aged people are really nice to their dealers.
This place is full of unfortunate mustaches.
every day is bullshit and fuck everyone. That's my motto for the week
Nothing like sitting at your midterm pissed at yourself because you put your graphing calculator batteries in your vibrator and forgot to put them back in before the exam 😑
She said cowgirls can can pee standing up and proceeded to pull up her dress and drop her underwear.
Randomize