Our Neighbors are trying to steal our ducks!
She told me she got a 15 on her A.C.T.. that's when I knew it was a done deal.
I might get fired at work today. I had to prioritize. It's not my fault Cockasaurus came over.
I'm telling everyone at work the mark on my neck is a hickey but really I was taking a shit while straightening my hair and burned myself
If youre the one that ate my brownies this morning I only have two things to say to you
Those had pot in them
And good luck on your interview asshole
For future reference, never invite the people you met at Dunkin Donuts at 2am to your house to watch Dogma
she literally hasn't taken the mardi gras beads off in three days. she showered in them. TWICE.
He ate me out while I was wearing a tiara.... I think I could get used to this
I was thinking about getting her an edible arrangement for an engagement gift. You want in?
I'm buying her a drink and not telling her to dump his ass. that's my gift.
Are sex swings allowed in dorms
Why the fuck is he under my phone as Papi Chulo?
And I'm laying here struggling with the notion that I need to put pants on.
WHY DID I MAKE A 7 minute video of me eating crackers and cheese when I was high
Send it to me
Ah you cut my boxers off with scissors, we're way past introductions
Is it good porn? Or is it more of that fucked up Cabbage Patch Doll porn you made us watch
Randomize
