He just left - my room smells like that cheese they put on nachos and cigarettes and beef
Yo quero taco bell
I was so drunk last night that I went into my 15 year old sisters room to have her peer edit the drunk texts I was sending to my ex.
I have now ridden the bus with a ninja, a samurai and Jesus. Who says the bus is for losers.
Was just practicing flip cup with my NyQuil cup...
You Were screaming "Im trying to get it in" and "stop cock blocking" while i threw you in the car
Dude that girl I hooked up with Tuesday is in lecture. I told her I was from the Dominican visiting my cousin and was leaving the next day. Hiding under my hood and hangover.
Serious question...Is it possible to get a DUI on a kayak?
the next thing I knew, I was on the floor of a Tim Hortons bathroom in Canada.
This wine tastes amazing. It's like a fermented hug.
It's taking every bit of my restraint not to go to the store and buy chips and cake and like steal someone's dog. PMS is so weird.
I'm crying watching Rihanna at the VMAs. Periods are a bitch
So I sniffed too hard this morning before work and I THINK THE COCAINE JUST STARTED ROUND 2.
im so drunk that this cat is mothering me. aggressively
I hooked up with a sophomore, passed out at midnight, and apparently drunkenly peed on Nicole's wedding invitation
I wet willied a stranger last night didn’t I?
Randomize
