We learned about herpes today in bio. I might as well have given the lecture
Does getting a boner while watching the celtic women sing opera on ETV make me cultured?
I just tried to light a cigarette with a tube of lipstick. If I had stayed in girl scouts maybe I could've made that happen.
just got my girl scout cookies. wanna get high?
Pretty sure I'm going to hell because of our friendship
Last one there wins
tried to chug a glass full of ice cubes. went better then expected.
Sarah's knitting me a hat as an apology for unknowingly making out with my boyfriend
I love it when he cheats on me with nice people
You ninja crawled over five sleeping guys to get in my room at 6 in the morning to wake me up for sex
...and I think that may just be my favorite moment in our fuckbuddyship
If magic marker is safe for kids, it should be safe for cats...right?
I dunno what's worse, that one guy here said he'd blow somebody for Tim Horton's right now, or that someone else looks like they want to test his sincerity.
Come get me, I'm fucking scared.
On a scale of 0 to Thanksgiving, there is no amount of food that fights against tequila.
Just letting you know that I just spent 11 dollars on a car wash... Because you had sex in my car.
you would have been so proud of how classy i just looked at the pharmacy with my $10 off plan b coupon. so resourceful.
there is puke in my bra ... again
Ha. Yeah that's all I found you with this morning. Butt ass naked w my robe across your lap and your arms thrown back in handcuff position.
Randomize
