Well to be completely honest its more of a 'i wanna do things to you that your parents would not enjoy hearing about' mood
i may have used way too many innuedos last night. i scared him off. but really... how could i pass up "stimulus package" and "flacid economy." don't answer that.
I just gave head in the laundry room on campus. He said it was one of the best moments in all of history. Take that, neil armstrong.
every single kid we've ever known, every single person we've gotten blow jobs from, every single person we've hit home runs with... is at dennys right now
apparently 20 random guys watched the process of me being carried on a mattress through the dorms
Make sure to show her the sewer we were arrested in on your tour.
It got to the point that I had to make flashcards with their name on the front and dick pics on the back.
She just flushed the toilet with her head inside it...
Because once my penis is in motion, it stays in motion unless another force acts upon it.
You. Me. Frosting and a bed. Lets do this.
Shit, my parents are coming over and I just realized that a grinder is not an acceptable paperweight
Is it weird to say that Kobe reminds me of a wise brontosaurus?
You just kept screaming "PLEASE YELL CORNDOG AT HIM. PLEASE. CORNDOG."
I pretty much told him I was too sober for this an just walked away and all I heard was "IT'S BECAUSE IM A BAD KISSER ISN'T IT" OVER AND OVER AGAIN
I guess I’m only into threesomes at Halloween, because I just woke up next to “Marilyn Monroe” and “Joe DiMaggio” in their condo
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