i'm telling everyone you had sex with a puerto rican drug lord
me and my sister are feeding my dog poprocks. this is proof you don't need a lot of money to have fun.
my text book just quoted the cookie monster
Awww, you two will make beautiful abortions together...
This guy needs to come out; I can feel him sucking my dick from across the room.
I actually took a sword out of your hands. You were samurai slashing lemons to make chasers.
So update from last night: I made friends with a coke dealer, I tore the card scanner off the wall of my dorm, and I passed out on our bathroom counter with my head in the sink.
Unless your apartment has 3 am pancakes Im not coming over.
Totally shot down my boss for sex today. Approaching this weekend with a clear conscience and an untouched vagina.
I just got dropped off by that cop that pulled you over. Best sex ever! Consider that $140 ticket my birthday present.
He woke up & asked where his pants were then asked where he was then asked who I was. Been married 20 yrs. He was drunkest ever.
You said this was your mistake shot and then vomited on the tv. Never forget.
Fucking suck it up and drink your feelings like a normal human being.
Dude I just clenched/unclenched my hindquarters while looking in the mirror I have fucking talent
so i just met a former male stripper who has a lion king tattoo. new BFF? i think yes
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