come downstairs quick. our boyfriends are having a dance off in nothing but their underwear and shoes. and they have semis too.
is it sad that whenever i need to spell "independent" i still sing that one rap song?
hey I'm just gonna fall asleep in the bathroom at the library call me when you're done with class
You were waisted for 48 hours and the only 3 words you said were yup, sure, and michigan
Important life lesson - flammable and inflammable mean the same thing
He just kept telling me how to do certain things. It was like I was fucking my sex ed teacher
a lot of self evaluation comes after you have to clean up a trashcan of your own vomit and condoms
went thru the pain of a Brazilian and he's passed the fuck out while i eat Doritos and watch tbs. fuck married life i want out
Cause your way of greeting people at the club was grabbing a tit and jiggling it while yelling a name, which usually wasn't theirs, and guys weren't safe either.
Would you get mad if I held a "how many dick pics can you get in one night" competition with my friend?
Also I walked home in over mitts \nLet's take a minute to really laugh about that
I'm actually not sure I need to run today, between the crazy monkey sex and breaking into my own house.
I was his one phone call from jail and I hung up on him. He's fine though were gonna go to a party now.
You ran outside of the party to do the rain dance and swim in puddles
he ended the message XOXO, who the fuck does he think he is GossipGirl.
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