I was so drunk last night, I had to Wikipedia what i did.
He lets me throw up in him even if i do it mistakeily- erica talking about the toilet
I really wish you were half the slut you're sister was in college
You totally drew a penis wizard on my closet that says "I travel for cock rock"
Dude I swear I heard "geet out!!!" when I went down on her. I shouldve listened.
Today I'm playing this game called how physically long can I Lay in this one spot before moving, do you have an estimated time of departure?
Are you wearing clothes?
Fuck no, who do you think I am
I told my mom I'm great in bed. That is quality mother daughter bonding.
I also slapped not one but two bananas on the ass, twerked in public, and I think I made out with someone
I think the lady at jack in the box started crying when we put in our order.
honestly my period and I are just as surprised to see each other every month
And now I'm taking a break sitting on the bathroom floor thanking god that people who eat at subway are either too classy to piss on the floor, or are still relatively sober enough to not piss on the floor before 5pm.
FUCK WHALES
he had to stop me from eating snow off the street on the way back to pick up our cars. that's how hungover i am.
So i dislocated my knee but still went home and fucked his brains out. Nothing gets in the way of my sex life. NOTHING.
Randomize
