I made myself breakfast and everything and then whoever's house it actually was came downstairs very upset.
You were so drunk you tried to sell your salsa to everyone on the restaurant.
so as we were driving to pick up my grandma from old navy she procedes to yell into our open window.. "I'll make ya holla fo a dolla" umm...
Last night we hooked up in nothing but out UK shirts during half time. Never say I'm not a dedicated fan again.
you can't tell me it's over and send me pics of you and your cat?
If sitting in the car passing a flask back and forth because the bar we go to is having some power issues on Christmas eve isn't Christmas spirit, then I don't know is.
Well... When your girlfriend fucks your sister, the 2 week courtesy window goes out the door.
Irrelevant. Does he have queso? That's the real question.
I mean thanks for the bj but i wanna forget everything that happened last night between 11 and 5
The bar tenders gave me the number for a "taxi"... It's just a dude with a van. In retrospect, pretty sketchy. Robert was cool though.
Oh my god did you actually lose a tooth
I woke up and there was pizza slices on the fucking walls of my room
jesus, I think that canada gold metal game has completely changed all rules of acceptable drinking habits, I was fucked untill noon and I just got invited to go party when I get off work...at 600am...and NO ONE understood why i was hesitant
Mom and I shoplifted today. Her idea.
Retirement sounds fun.
Got home and told boyfriend what happened. He was like "you made out with a guy you call Balls Deep?" and hi-fived me.
Randomize
