Ninja stars and alcohol are a bad combo
yeah, we don't understand. the wings losing for guys is like girls finding objects in their body..just weird and sad
My birthing hips are way to big to be around all these juveniles.
I told him I had my daily dose of vitamin c so i wouldn't blow him
I love the "adulterer" look on you. It's hot.
Its part of my fall instant classic line.
i like that you affectionately refer to him as "creepy" ever time you talk about him
Our relationship just reached the stage where i can touch her boobs while making a honking noise without getting hit in the face
Your cousin just asked the bartender to start a round of vagina shots. Not body shots. Vagina shots. We're taking her out more often.
High enough to ask the woman at best buy if she ever feels like she's swimming. and telling the man outside that he smells like happy juice.
Well u missed Autumn's newly 21 yrs old sister flashing her tits and standing on the bar last night.
So I got hit in the face with a frying pan. So def wont be at work for first break if I'm there at all
Sorry about coming to the pool in only a thong. I thought you said it was closed. Not that you were teaching a group of kids how to swim.
Well, maybe we can talk about it over a drink and some crushed up vicodin.
After last night, I think I need a service animal to monitor the life choices I make when I'm inebriated. A monkey, or a clever dog. Or a really assertive parrot.
Life lesson... stop having side pieces that know each other...ffs.
Randomize
