I don't even know what he looks like, all i've seen of him is his dick
the rest of him looks just as crooked
my nick name has gotton too long over the years..C.T.P.S.G.F.P.G.......cock tease private school groupie frat party groupie.
Its like after 6 beers, the clap doesn't scare me anymore.
Around noon tomorrow come looking for me. I'll be on Mill wearing whatever clothes I haven't lost yet. DO NOT REPLY. DO NOT ASK QUESTIONS. JUST DO IT.
Got so drunk in South Padre some guy put me on a suitcase trolly and pushed me to my room. I flashed my boobs as a tip.
I can affiliate each flavor of Copenhagen to a different one night stand. I really love Texas.
He can keep it, but if he asks for anything else i'm just going to start pissing on things.
You threw up in a empty pizza box at Pizza Hut and opened the door with your face. So that maybe why it's bruised.
No, and she still hasn't answered me...I get a whole series of text messages about Guatemalan anal bleaching but no fucking answer to my question.
Do you have Pokemon Go yet? I just caught a Clefairy on my walk of shame and feel way better about myself.
She passed out in my baby sister's room so we put her in one of my grandma's diapers, put a pacifier in her mouth, put her in my sister's crib and took pictures.
11:30 and people are pissing in the sink. It's gonna be a good night.
You sending me our unborn, unfertilized babies' names is not what I envisioned when you said you'd "drunk text me later".
Can you please bring the nipple sombrero up?
So apparently I fell asleep sitting on the toilet last night while my drunk girlfriend sang to me.
Randomize
