operation have a gay friend backfired
her facebook's as public as her vagina
Yeah I'm buying him lunch right now because I shot him with the fire extinguisher last night
Weird question, would you want to do fetish porn? you get paid.
blah blah blah they called me an alcoholic because I threw my beer at a Jesus freak. it was for the best
I have discovered that there is nothing that a giant penis attached to a southern accent can't talk me into. yee-haw!
im currently assessing the tequila situation in preparation of your arrival
Im about to get a baby alligator stoned, what are you doing with your life?
Things you Cant unsee: When your smartphone syncs to your dads laptop and downloads photos...including his porn stash.
Yes I am wallowing. There is a significant lack of cookie dough
just like fucking own it. stare that cop in the eye and just keep masturbating "yeah motherfucker Im high as shit and this feels great"
I keep finding Kraft singles in his pockets. Honestly, this is the weirdest family I've ever worked for.
I feel I should send an apology letter to my anesthesiologist.
I’m honestly just flattered that you think I could make PornHub’s Top 10.
All I remember is me taking my automatic nerf gun getting on top of him and saying..."look whos in control now!"
Randomize
