I think tequila should come with a little jiminy cricket
8th day he invented the big mac, 9th he invented pop rocks, 10th day boobs.
I just had human shit waiting for me at the top of the escalator at Bowery. This is truly the Lord's day.
May the Lord look upon you in favor and give you pees.
at least if we puke, we will be surrounded by beautiful, non-judgemental trees.
Sunshine is the equivalent of sprinkling whore pellets on campus.
I was talking to another guy at the bar last night and all of a sudden a flying piece of Sausage lands on my boobs. Then I hear my boyfriend yell, "just marking my territory."
No dude, I'm not naming my kid after your beard
I'm back in the dating scene now... Since the legality issue calmed down. And my stalking charges were dropped.
Awkward sister question: which game of thrones female left would you fuck?
Is it unethical to trim my bush hair with the scissors from my office?
We were cuddling in his bed and I asked him a question and followed by making a microphone with my hand and told him to speak into it. If he never talks to me again that's probably why.
I HAVE A FLAME THROWER. COME SEE IT. IT’S SAFE AND WORKS.
Its really awkward pooping while on videochat. Even if you turn the video off.
There are 6 of us in a mini cooper and his maid is in the trunk...she needed a ride.
The last time I was on vacation the pandemic blew up. Can't wait to see how my vacation fucks up the world this time.
Randomize