I got so high last night I started crying because i couldn't stop thinking about how scary space is
Nope it's a specific set of cards not like a normal ace, queen king thing....kinda like UNO, but instead of yelling UNO you get shitfaced
At least you didnt end up topless in a Tina Turner wig singing cabaret tunes
drunk me is my new role model. he's fearless. like not even afraid of tornadoes.
I'm telling you the guy came in bought a box of condoms and all three of the chicks that came in behind him followed him to his car. I want his life
He's trying to get everyone in the bathtub for a team meeting about how we're gonna find his car. Which is parked outside. Think we should cut him off?
You can't find true love with Budweiser and a futon
This little shit keeps eating the playdoh so i replaced the green with wasabi from work. Wonder what his parents are gonna think when he burns his soft palette?
Beautiful wedding. Beautiful bride. I got shitfaced. Came home and ate two corndogs. I'm still single.
Her one night stand followed us to mass. This is too funny for real life.
You woke up in between the boxspring and the matress in a random dorm room.
Oh god theyre drunkenly throwing knifes now, definitely the best movie I've worked on
i black out too much to be "responsible"
I'm literally about to create a tinder account. Just so someone drives me to get food.
Just walked into the supermarket puking into a plastic bag while wearing my favorite Bob Ross shirt. I am a human disaster.
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