All he said was "Yeah, there's a lot of air down there. And penis."
I just had my first experience getting hit on by a guy. It was really awkward, he touched my chest and invited me to a gay bar because "women get drunk and let their guard down at gay bars"
thats actually pretty good logic
How do I tactfully ask if the neighbors downstairs can hear me beating it?
Just realized I left my heels in their microwave. Whoops.
Think about if the incredible hulk and king kong had a retarded baby. That's the sound she made in my ear the entire time I fucked her.
After seeing how much you are able to funnel in a night, I am 90% sure your blood is pure gin.
Party Liz is going to have to have her wings clipped until someone gets me some baby reins to wear
He always takes me to get taco bell after we hook up in his car. It's sort of become a booty call tradition.
I'm already too high to be publicly presentable. I just looked at myself in the mirror without my sunglasses. Debated contacts. Said aloud "But I'm nothing without my sunglasses."
she hacked my macbook and downloaded an illegal version of the original pokemon red, completely nude in my computer chair. there were several levels of hornyness existing all at once
You asked for his ID and then said "I am like a bouncer but for my vagina."
After we had sex he began to tell me the craziest places he's had sex. He told me KFC bathroom so I rolled over and went to sleep.
We just did a u turn on the highway to settle a dispute in a game of slug bug
Omg I'm having dinner at chilli's with a guy who is arguing that getting a weed leaf tatoo on his neck will prevent him from getting a job as a dental assistant
Well that actually sounds reasonable
the twins are trying to figure out which one is the one doing body shots off a janitor in this picture
Randomize
