We videoed ourselves having sex... I now know why I close my eyes during sex
Listen, what he fails to understand is that the Olive Garden does not equal pussy.
There is a mirror in the headboard of the bed that I'm sleeping in so I can immediately question life choices when I wake up.
You told her to step on the scale because you had whiskey goggles, and scales don't lie.
It's like the bermuda triangle of cat puke
Running into your random closeted hookup from last night is really awkward when you have to sit next to him and his girlfriend in a 200 person class.
How exactly do I approach the whole "Well that was fun. Am I purchasing the Plan B or you?" topic?
I did not get laid last night bc my condoms were too small. I'm allowed to be dreary
If tits could talk, mine would be bragging
I'm going to avoid eye contact because my old high school English teacher is not who I feel like seeing after I just had a dick in my mouth
Your boobs stole my birthday thunder!
please tell me you're the one making all the weird noise in the yard..
i just drunk stumbled into my home... to figure out that we moved 2 weeks ago..
Well, you started screaming "I dont know you GO AWAY" to your mom when she was holding your hair as you threw up in her garden.
A total of 3 guys left my apartment this morning. That was my first clue to my black out endeavors last night. Gotta love wine Wednesdays.
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