You know it's an interesting night when you drunkenly scream at your boss, "You'd make a HORRIBLE OBGYN!! You're hands are ENORMOUS!"
At least we don't have one night stands
True that. We sink our claws in our men.
im sorry but my first introduction to your dick isn't going to be a pic sent from the men's room
Im am drinking whisky alone in my parents basement. I think I just watched the point of no return stroll by.
my being single is dangerous.
I love wearing low cut shirts cuz then when class gets boring, I can look down and admire my breasts.
thanks for showing me a good time......and your penis a few times. Thanks especially for that.
She broke both of her ankles trying to jump off the balcony. it's like every time she drinks she makes even more impressively bad decisions than the last time
You kept showing everyone at the bar your bra to prove it matched your shoes.
Second wind. Either that or my heart is about to explode. I'm hoping the first one.
The power of the half flaccid cock, and to think, I thought I was just playing accordion in front of her Vagina!
We are the best cocktail. We look appealing, taste amazing, and ruin lives.
i woke up on the floor in front of the fireplace and my last google search was "fuck sponges"
Plan b and 5 hour enegery breakfast of a champion
He literally shouted this Viking war cry when he cam. Then as we laid there he sang me the most beautiful rendition of " When Irish Eyes are Smiling". I've never been more confused.
Randomize
