We walked past a group of guys in front of a bar last night and they claimed, I quote: Wow, we'd actually have to work for that.
Alli causes anal leakage. You can find someone to like you if you are fat but no one will like you if you poop yourself.
Aunt Jean just announced that her pubic hair is getting thicker as her head hair gets thinner. As a family we are just not a people of mystery.
I had to remind him that there is no "age exchange rate" between the u.s. and spain, and that 16 will always equal 16
Please tell me nicole sent the picture of the ejaculating penis to you too, otherwise I'll feel really awkward
Fuck. These are the symptoms I had when I was pregnant. This could be bad.
Just got a blowjob from a coed in exchange for saving her an iPhone 5 when I get them in stock. Sometimes it's awesome to be a Verizon employee.
We've only been here for 15 hours and our names are already on 2 separate police reports. We've also been given our "final warning" by the cops and hotel management.
I have bruises from doing the splits on the poles, if that doesn't scream bourbon street regret then I don't know what does
I got drunk by myself and ended up listening to Beethoven in the dark.
well, mom whipped her new boobs out at the dining room table. So yeah you could say we had a pretty casual thanksgiving
I'm currently deliberating if I'm going to be too drunk on New Years to handle wearing false eyelashes.
I don't want to be "that guy" but I may have accidentally sent a dick pic to your mom
You had sex with a guy who has a purple beard last night. No Molly for a while, ok?
Did he hurt you? I have a crowbar I can beat his sorry ass with
Randomize
