Mines from giving head on hardwood floors.
I just had to explain to my father, how having two screens plugged into my computer doesn't use more internet.
You skyped me last night to show me the girl passed out on your bed.
she looked at me completely serious and said "orgasms are 15% Stronger during a hurricane" and started to take all her clothes off
You stumbled in the house, mumbled something about a cheese party, grabbed a block of cheese and the whiskey, and left.
They wouldn't let me hang out the sun roof and sing apple bottom jeans in the drive thru of hardee's i think i no longer like these ppl
Remember when we used to share painkillers at parties? Now we're dealing in blood pressure pills. Oh, how the mighty have fallen.
Should I have a moral quandary about Skyping topless with him while his son slept in the other room?
therea a video of her dad walking in while i screamed "lets have a fashion show!" and fell off the table
todays sighting is titled: Bum taking pictures with an invisible camera.
Smoked a blunt with my dad then introduced him to cinnabon delights. Today was a good day.
He took my Spanx off and still fucked me twice. I call that success.
I was just at the gas station and happened to look left and see a girl blowing some guy. How was your night?
Best and worst whiskey dick ever. I am hungover and can't move from the hours of sex, he on the other hand has a raw bruised dick. I win.
like honestly, the vodka had to go somewhere, and your moms soap dispenser just seemed right at the time..
Randomize