let's just say, the carpet matched the drapes. in colour and length.
remember the good old days of high school when a half gal would last for more than a nite
no you went to jail because you don't know how to whisper when offering a cop a blow job. I'm sure him having a chick partner didn't help.
I was afraid that she would smell her boyfriend's penis on my breath while we were talking.
I'm sorry that I ate boneless ribs off of your sister, but that is no reason to drink my alcohol.
Finally better. I had to use eye makeup remover to get the purple wine stains off my lips
Ok not good, my info has definitely been submitted to this sugar daddy website before.
I may or may not have traded your body to the rodeo's owner for free beer.
Just figured out my hair is long enough to tie my wrists together. . .get over here NOW!
That dude with the beard walked up to me, turned my water into wine with everclear and kool-aid, and walked away. Pretty sure drunk Jesus is back.
Your roommates will be treating you to many anecdotes about my intentions to have aggressive sex with you. I'm sorry in advance.
What does it mean when the government shuts down and your boyfriends wife wants a divorce ON YOUR BIRTHDAY?
Why the fuck are you playing with legos?
Why the fuck are you questioning me?
I can't have the last guy who touched my vagina be my coworker.
I don't remember anything from last night, but at track I found my thong next to the high jump pit... So it must has been decent
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