He gave his mom his old phone, and I am SO paranoid
Did you send adult things?
Um. Yes would be the understatement of the year
who knew getting puke in ur hair could make it look so cute and curly. minus the crusty puke part
I've walk of shamed through this apartment complex so many times, I think people think I live here.
You even been so high breaking up weed with your fingers feels like surgery?
what's for breakfast?
Advil and throwup
Soooo my gf got the droid and doesn't have BBM anymore, I think its over for her
I'm sad your dog died... Her name is my stripper name.
It's basically the same plan, only step one gets revised to "look hot enough that he forgets I fucked his roommate"
If I'm going to start compromising my butthole it's going to be for much better drugs than a ventolin
It looks like I promised him my virginity, in spanish. What the hell did you give me?
Is it possible to rally from a drunken seizure?
You were drink-wine-from-the-bottle drunk trying to take everybody's blood pressures again.
WAIT MOM THIS DOESNT NEED TO BE A FAMILY EVENT OK AARON DOESNT NEED TO BE AROUND FOR NIPPLEGATE 2014
i need some magic done to my vagina
found one of my socks in the dishwsaher... xanax
Randomize
