You hurt me so bad and it feels so good
Getting 10 cents back for every can is really just encouraging alcoholism.
You were mumbling a lot and offered me 20 dollars to leave you alone
He told me I took off my shirt, asked for the latino thunder and jumped on him. I want to question this but it sounds too much like me.
The glockenspiel player has some booze though so hopefully the ride won't be that bad
Ya know, in a round about way coinstar is just a glorified vending machine for all my bad choices.
careful of the bathroom.... theres some drunken ninja turtles in there....
This morning is cloudy with a high chance of vomiting all over the dentist. Stay tuned for further updates.
My knee is bleeding. This cheeseburger is the 3rd thing I made out with today and I think I got a job with the ducks. Catalina is poppin
I have fruit by the foot roll-ups. I wonder if a man could tie them together and make an editable bra....
Just ate tuna on a frozen waffle because we were out of bread.
This is why you don't have nice things.
Whatever. I just smoked another bowl so I don't care and wow I just noticed how fast my thumb moves when I text. I'm amazing.
How many times is too many times to use the word 'fuck' in my thesis?
I thought my sex drive was gone but let me tell you it is back with a vengeance
What're you gonna do with the rest of your night?
Probably watching cooking videos and fantasizing about pie
Randomize
