you said you couldnt let go of the fence because your hand was molding to it.
oh, it's pms. I almost cried yesterday bc my roommates didn't seem perky enough when I got home.
will you please explain to me as to why or how i have a dirtbike tread looking bruise on my back?
I had to drink heavily last night because I needed to forget that you told me you want to blow my dad.
Pretty sure I blacked out the last 48 hours, the last thing I remember is the 4 pm bar crawl on Thurs
Can you believe they're going to let me be a doctor?
Im dating a 38 year old who's lap I can fit in. Tell me I don't have daddy issues.
Let's learn from last year: Leave the handcuffs at home on St Patrick's Day.
They're tearing apart the house I lost my virginity in:(
The bottle of Jameson may have been a bit aggressive for a Sunday cookout.
My mother just made an innapropriate gesture with a cucumber while grocery shopping at whole foods... Then she said "bitches love cucumbers" and all this time i thought i was adopted
Hyyypothetically, what would you do if you happened to see my boobs on the internet?
CUM CAME OUT OF MY NOSE. MY SINUSES ARE ENTIRELY FUCKED UP NOW BC OF THE CUM TRAVELING IN PLACES IT SHOULD NOT HAVE.
Not entirely sure how I got drunk off 2 mimosas but here I am
Nothing says responsible like taking your birth control with an open bottle of wine you left on your night stand from the night before
while on the topic of showers...why is there apple juice in our bathtub?
Randomize
