Dude WTF? His teammate just started talkin to me on fb! Am I walking around with a "I like to f**k gators" on my forehead?
No, it just says ur easy
i like that you affectionately refer to him as "creepy" ever time you talk about him
I'm looking at pot farms on google earth. Google should be proud I found a real purpose for it to serve.
I won the karaoke contest at the bar last night, when they called my name i was doing blow off the toilet seat, i thought they caught me, i didnt even know there wasa contest
Are you around on Saturday? Feeling a trip over
Wet with either fear or sexual excitement
I think a mixture of both is appropriate
I pull out like 90% of the time, but that's just to make art.
Also when i was high i would close my eyes and see a puppy on a grill having pancake batter poured on it.... And for whatever reason it was fucking hilarious.
I dunno if you guys are having weird sex or a most accurate bird sound contest but either way stop doin it
It was like something out of a fucked up fairy tale. He just crowdsurfed over to her while riding a keg, said "come sail with me", and then the crowd carried them off into the night. What.
Can we fangirl? Can we have fangirl Tuesdays?
Sure lol what's that?
Oh, dear, sweet Laura. Please start singing A Whole New World. I have Aladdin's part, you're Jasmine.
Why?
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He offered to take me to my appointment after breakfast then kind of just sat there and watched me get a papsmier. Most awkward first date ever.
When the stripper from this weekend is your cashier at Publix the next day 😐💀#pensacolaproblems
...I just added shower water to my vodka on ice\n#sendhelp
Uess honpr I rememebrt hEzS cuter
You'll have to translate that into sober in the morning.
I'll bring spiced rum
I am not drinking that devil juice
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