i just puked in front of my entire floor a girl on crutches asked iof i needed help hahaaa fuck ima damn fool
I'm sorry, but there's just something about mesh over nipples that irks me.
Do you think girls in gamma phi sit around and think about how much they suck?
I found a wheel chair. there is now a high chance im going to be fired from this job
Get here now. This is going to be possibly my most dangerous idea ever, and I'm the guy who challenged a hobo to a breakdance fight.
They were greeting people getting off the 48 with green beers and cheers. The one day I decide not to take the bus home...
Your mom just threw up on me. Please come home.
Thanks to her sunglasses tan, I can't look at her when she blows me cause it's like getting blown by a raccoon. A very talented raccoon
The waitress just told me I'm asking alot. So far I've asked for a soul, an angel and carbombs
Just had a threesome with a hot Turkish guy and an even hotter French lawyer. This what happens when I travel alone. You have only yourself to blame for this.
Just walked into your room to get my clothes and he's still passed out in your bed. Remind me to high five you when you get home
But seriously. What possible excuse could I come up with to ditch my parents on Christmas to go fuck him?
I wish I could say this wasn't the first time I shit myself in a Piggly Wiggly.
I shaved my asshole for this. That's real dedication.
tell me about the eggs
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