i don't know what kind of porn he watches.. but that is NOT how you do it...
Every time I find out someone else from high school got pregnant accidentally, I want to declare victory over them.
kindergarten is hard when you're hung over.
we need blinds so i can safely watch porn during the day
I feel like I spend my weeks apologizing for my weekends.
A girl limped into my class 15 minutes late wearing sunglasses, leggings, and a kiss me im irish shirt. She sat down and took her glasses off and im pretty sure she only had one eye's makeup still on. Someone had a great st pattys day.
When I say rough sex, and show you scars from past encounters, pulling my hair a little IS NOT GOING TO CUT IT. And he just doesn't understand.
why is there a clump of hair nailed to my wall?
Just as I was applauding myself for the best wing man award, I realized we are going to have to burn our futon.
I'm going to take a nap so I don't feel like a stripper sneezed in my mouth tomorrow morning at work.
He got too drunk... he threw up ON the closed toilet.
It's a Jersey thing
I think I fucked someone on the flight home last night.
I guess it's part of life. Sometimes your ex boyfriend becomes a drag queen.
She'd probably like you more if you'd stop fucking her husband.
i don't care if you are my best friend. does not give you the right to describe how well my sister gives blowjobs.
how about your cousin?
Randomize