do herpes really smell.
why are there post-it notes all around the apartment labeled where you guys had sex and in what position
She agreed that we could have sex whenever I wanted and I could let someone else meet my mom.
So I wake up this morning with a bottle of dish detergent and a dildo. Good call on bringing those girls from community college.
Just hooked up with the fireman who put out the quesadilla fiasco last tuesday.
You should never talk to him again. Unless its you knocking on the door and punching his dick.
Kid got laid mid-party wearin a fuzzy hat with ears and 40's taped to his bear paws... wtf
Im pretty sure that girl just said "Im taking you home even if your girlfriend has to come too." Why are we here again?
Do you think wearing a shirt that says I like penis is too much for tonight?
if i had known the extra weight would have gone to my tits, i would have started drinking years ago
THE PRUIS IN YOUR DRIVEWAY IS NOT YOURS
excuse me?
I accidentally borrowed your spare keys a while ago...i just tried them...that, my friend, is not your car.
steve's beating me 4-2 in our "sexually confusing straight people" competition. steve is a wizard. this is not a drill.
just so you know.. snorkeling hungover: great decision. I was throwing up and he couldn't even tell!
He kept telling me that he didn't serve two tours in Iraq for my bitch ass to drink banana rum.
Can I come over and use your shower? My roommate got drunk last night and took my bathroom door off its hinges
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