singing james blunt while drunk. tell me thats not wonderful
I'm pretty sure my roommate has taken plan B more times than i've had sex. Not sure how that makes me feel.
it was really bad. he went around saying "I want you inside of me" to everyone.
He's cheating on his wife, and he's judging me for eating McDonalds
You just want to fuck a girl in a dinosaur costume, don't you?
you left saying you wanted to "go piss on that girl's doorstep" and we didn't see you the rest of the night
that actually explains a lot
If shame burned calories, I'll be back to my birth weight by the end of this weekend.
his version of basketball was throwing hot sauce packets down my cleavage at taco bell at 2 am with his buddy.the cashier kept score
There's always a certain something about a day that begins with your panties in your purse.
He took off his priest costume and proceeded to dryhump the teletubby.
I'm on the bus, watching a girl shush her balloons.
Seriously considering modifying my computer case so it can dispense wine. I need to make a bunch of changes and reorganize it's guts anyway....
We did hand stuff while watching teenage mutant ninja turtles so I guess you could say it's getting serious
A legendary roster of degenerates has been assembled.
Riddle me this: why did I wake up next to a stuffed sword fish?
Randomize
