Duck Duck Cougar?
you kept lying down on the floor at the bar just to prove you could get back up
Just heard this lady walk by on her phone saying "did everyone orgasm?"
He posted on my wall. Idk if I'm ready for that big of a commitment.
I got a Luke Skywalker costume so I can go do battle with the homeless guy who plays the fiddle dressed as Darth Vader downtown.
MISSING: One left eyebrow. Reward if returned.
Its a Guy he gets weed for. I'm kinda confused as to why there are going to even be tuxedos involved at all.
I just found a video on my phone from last night of you yelling, "you can't fuck me!" at least 20 times
As i looked at his penis, it stared back into my soul. No more drinking games.
A gay black guy with blonde hair and a gold tooth just told me he would shit on my face.
Now it's a party.
I also have to vacuum the broken noodles out of my suitcase...
in honor of breaking bad starting soon, i am now banging a walter white lookalike. viva heisenberg!
Fuck you. I've got onesies to keep me warm at night. And this bottle.
someday i'll meet a man and who loves me as much as i love getting drunk and starting fires
I'm studying. I have a really exciting life lol
It's hard to say that sarcastically after having sex in a movie theater
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