I've decided through careful research we can out drink any country folk.
I'm afraid my bank account can't handle syllabus week.
I don't know why girls would even talk to someone as drunk as I was.
We thought she was passed out on the toilet, but she raised her head to tell me the word I couldn't remember was "empathize." Then she puked blood and passed out.
I'm at work, and just realized I the beer smell I keep getting random whiffs of is my bra. I fail at life.
All I remember is waking up with 3 penises pointed at my face. I also remember enjoying that a lot. And then I threw up in their shower.
She who has the vag holds all the power. He will learn one way or the other.
Ill tap morse code on the ceiling when im ready for you to come down amd smoke
I'm sensing a Yuletide blow job in your future and by future I mean tomorrow
Red flag bro. Her only friends are barflys and a teen with a fake ID
it was good, but also weird. like, i came four times and then cried weird.
honestly dont worry about it, its not the first time ive injured myself on a potted cactus during sexual relations with a woman
The thing about being single is like Sunday morning sex is nice but so is Sunday morning eating Nutella from the jar in your underwear
He walked into the bar with a pineapple and they served him AND the pineapple
Also, my guy said they would be around. And i clarified that when I asked him for mushrooms he didn't hear "a mushroom or two" but rather understood I meant "all the mushrooms you can find between now and 4th of July."
Randomize
