He introduced me to his parents as the girl he made out with on Thursday night...
I'm up to 9 pic of different guys. I need 4 more boys and each one of the 13 to submit 3 additional pics. I wanna make a penis deck of cards.
Those foam number one hands, are the BEST socks.
I feel as though the word "tired" has become synonymous with "too high to manage the stairs" lately
French fry pizza
Are you brilliant or just really high?
Can't it be both?
You just can't come from being "the girl who shit her pants."
The sense of comroderie I've built with my liver over the course of this semester is beautiful
Actually I more feel like I'm on a ship about to grab the holy grail off an island
The ship is me being high the holy grail is some profound idea I'm about to have
Im gonna get home and destroy this bag of chicken nuggets with my soul.
I couldn't think of the word "bath" so instead I told him I was marinating in soapy water
Literally sitting on my bed in the dark trying not to throw up
Now when you said you'd never sleep with me, did you really mean never on a Monday or never without handcuffs or a blindfold or never on a airplane or never without lots of booze? Cus never is a pretty strong word.
Like I want to yell at him for pissing on my floor but there's still a chance its my pee....
STOP SENDING ME NAKED PICTURES WHEN I'M TRYING TO TEACH. MONDAY TUESDAY 1-3 IS A DICK AND ARSE FREE ZONE
He knocked me over backwards in my chair. I had a beer in each hand. Didn't spill a drop.
Randomize
