it was beautiful and magic like when a hot girl grabs her own tits and smiles at you
P.S. I can't hear my feet
Hands down the best time I've ever had barfing.
he told us the story of how he fought ketchup, mustard, and thomas the train engine all in one night. if that doesn't sound like an acid trip i dont know what does.
successfully started a charcoal grill with 2 shots of everclear and some aluminum foil. i never wanna leave here
you think that next time i come over to do this you can pick up the condom wrappers you used on the other girls
there is something about beer and popsicles that make the world go round
Apparently I got mad at you for "Not drinking with me till we thought we were seahorses" and smashed my face on your door. Then I put my feet in the oven and started crying because I was drinking alcohol from a pot. My life is spinning out of control.
You showed them your nipple for dollars for the jukebox. You were depressed because only one of your songs played. Oh then you twisted your ankle and blamed it on your mad stripper skills.
No shame in my game.
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
We decided to keep having sex while I ordered the pizza. I wanted extra pepperoooooooooooooni.
are you putting in a lot of effort today like appearance wise
I am taking my rightful place as emperor of the undead appearance wise
Puking in the Ritz Carlton bathroom was actually kind of a nice experience
On a scale of 1-10 how inappropriate is it for me to ask if Walgreens offers teacher discounts when purchasing a Plan B pill?
You don't know happiness until you've got to smoke weed inside taco bell and then eat all you want for free
Randomize
