Picture Ja Rule and 50 Cent having a sexy full grown love child son...He's on my bus right now, wearing an outside jacket with no shirt underneath. My fashion sense and libido are fighting it out.I'll keep you posted on who wins.
I will show your tits more attention than Michael Jackson's death.
we are going to smoke at least three blunts before we go see Cloudy with a chance of meatballs. I'm going to have my mom make us spaghetti for when we get out so can your mom make those spicy meatballs? I thought I'd give you 9 days notice so everything's perfect.
I'm actually glad you're quitting. Now there's one less person at work who's seen me naked.
I just jerked off and used a stopwatch to track my results. Pretty depressing on multiple fronts.
I bought canned wine on a clearance aisle at the liquor store... I feel like I'm living in an episode of It's Always Sunny.
the story is to long to tell you via txt so when you notice the tattoo on your ass call me.
He compliments me like a gay guy and fucks me like a starved nympho. I'm in love.
Apparently it's poor taste to ask for a break up blow job...in McDonald's. Also, that's not the best way to break the news either.
you were stumbling down richmond carrying a girl in a nurse costume. its not even halloween dude
We got naked and peed in the garden. Something about bonding with our new house
We both knew it was over when I took a u turn at her belly button.
So after the absinthe shots_____(fill in the blank area for me please)......
You do realize it’s only a matter of time before I have a bad day and come home with an alpaca?
Like sorry your dick won’t suck itself?
Randomize
