I'm at the bar and I just saw some unnecessary and accidental cooter...sometimes I think girls need a license to go out pantyless in public.
So I told her I dislocated my shoulder and she said "well okay. I can either be on top or blow you."
Decisions, decisions.
you just stood there spinning and got mad if anyone tried to stop you
I know for sure he's a bro because he closed the door so my gf didn't see me hooking up with her cousin.
He came, while we were making out fully clothed. I'm going to write a book.
You told me if you could get your shoes on, you deserved a coke and rum. We never made it to the party.
Try not to get arrested for it, but otherwise i support you
He's CUTE. and foreign
Then that means he's outwardly conservative. Inwardly he's a total gay horndog. He's like a spy that can ruin conservative plans.
I want to change all my life goals to that.
Emoji's do wonders when you actually have nothing at all to say..
I was passed out in a bathroom stall. Of course im going to look like shit
How many hotdogs are you going to eat today?
THE LIMIT DOES NOT EXIST
I thought I came here to hook up, not for a Study Abroad 101 session
The first thing my Christmas gift money is buying is a dildo.
so i put my jacket on last night that you wore last weekend, and reach inside the pockets and find them full of goldfish...
the snack that smiles back:)
Can I say it was a great night out of town? Fucking my co-worker in the hotel bed while my best friend is fucking his friend on the floor and a random guy is laying in the other bed meanwhile we are all passing a joint back and forth
Randomize
