Just woke up wearing a top hat and simpsons boxers. i also found more money in my wallet then what i had before going out, about $1000 more
you should wait a day or two to break up with your girlfriend
why?
so we can have sex in the meantime. It adds a little excitement.
it was like fucking the hulk in a smartcar
I'm playing wingman, but I want to pull a Goose and die.
I don't know what you're doing, but there's a dragon on my street.
Alright, so what's my next move? I already posted a Milli Vanilli video on her wall
get over here now. the boys are doing shots of everclear, chasing with monster, and some dude jsut walked in with a backpack full of tattoo gear.
You can't tell me you've honestly NEVER considered smoking a Froot Loop
We found him wrapped up in a giant table umbrella in the bathroom.
And the next morning he asked me why I had clothes on so I said so that he could take them off again.
I fucked him while wearing his hat. I love the navy
So what if I got a tattoo on a bus, it was sterile.
I don't remember anything beyond the drinking game but I woke up in my own pee this morning so I'm just gonna go out on a limb and say I overdid it.
I’m appalled by how severely I lower my standards when I’m horny & impaired
The thing about online classes is the prof can't tell this mug is full of beer.
Randomize
