I just told this girl who bought a pregnancy test "good luck"
I just woke up in my closet, wearing a pink cowboy hat and a pink thong...
I want my thong back.
I hate you tequila.
The girl next to me in class is taking notes on woman's suffrage with a girls gone wild pen.
That's it, I refuse to live in a world where sparkly vampires beat Batman at anything.
He's fat, has man boobs, and is uncircumsized. I feel like I won the last woman on earth prize.
drunken yoga. on the beach. senior week. you have been chosen <3
I think she faked a seizure to get out of it ...
Would be fun, plus since its in public I'll keep my penis in my pants
She said we "made love." I had to explain to her that when both parties agree that the first time time they have sex both people agree to video tape the whole thing its not "making love" but more like random good time fun sex.
I'm not gay but if a lesbian wants to eat my box out I'm not gonna say no to someone who knows what they're doing.
I definitely think you should enjoy one last spring break being a sorostitute before you get serious and settle down with price charming. I mean hes not going to be there any way. he can wait a week.
Just sent a dick pic to ur girl. It was accident. Plz mail it to Gena.
He got hotter. I'm offended on behalf of the rest of our graduating year.
immediately after sex he started talking to me about nerdy stuff he meant to text me earlier, I'm completely smitten
That awkward moment when you realize that last night you walked from in n out to petco, bought a mouse for $3, named it mogar, taught it how to skateboard on a techdeck, made it a home out of a trash can, fed it fruity pebbles and cheese, and then forgot where you left it.
Randomize
