Whod you bang
we do all of our sexting over chat on words with friends, so my boyfriend doesn't know about it when he looks at my texts.
I thinking of taking all of the pics of his dick that he's sent me and making a calendar.
we got plastered, then made lists of anything thats ever been in our vaginas
I know. Brad is upset because he was lower on the list than "that carrot stick"
you got me arrested i just think that goes without question you owe me a blowjob
I knew it was on when he was dancing on stage and I gave him a dollar so in return he ripped my tit out of my shirt and started sucking on it IN THE MIDDLE OF THE BAR.
I always "accidentally" drop a condom and make sure she sees it's a magnum. By the time I'm inside her and she realizes how small I am, it's all over in a flash and I'm done. Plus, they never call back so I never have to see the girl ever again. #gratefulforprematuretinypenis
Remember that time you puked in a beer pong cup while someone else was playing?
that happened
We just got in a fight with grandma b/c she tried to tell us you didn't go hard.
I got with him in my watermelon costume so ya you owe me $1
Just laying in bed with my vibrator eating cold tortillas and listening to Savage Garden.
His balls will have been in my mouth at least once by this time tomorrow.
So I'm trying to figure out how to talk my boss into allowing pajama day once a week. Any ideas?
It is getting ridiculous, the elaborateness of the schemes I have to concoct so my suitemates don't know I'm pooping.
when I found u, u were using a t-shirt for pants
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