i think i just witnessed the elusive male walk of shame
My mom's crying. That means it must be Christmas.
Need to stop getting stoned with this chick, I keep waking up covered in pizza sauce
i must of done something right to please the booty call gods. . . maybe fucking that fat chick?
Dude. He put me on a rewards point system for his dick. I have to do him favors now to build up to winning sex. This is shit.
We'll just play it by vagina and see where it leads us
I know he's not here, but I can still see him. I found some of my old stash and its good shit so its expected to see sunlight at night and scary llama men. Midgets or otherwise.
i feel like i am made of mashed potatoes. i love cannabis pills so. fucking. much.
Hey by the way did you notice my third nipple in my snapchat
Well he offered to lick my asshole so...I'm not really worried about his interest level.
I passed out drunk in her bed. Her boyfriend showed up and told me to go to the other room or we were gonna have a threesome. I threw up off the side of her bed and left. I feel like that was an adequate response.
I just remembered that before we left my house I vowed to stay fully clothed and I FAILED
You just kinda wondered into the street and started screaming at dogs and small children...
2 weeks into this dating someone with money thing and I already don't know if I can go back to the being poor life
What should I list for life skills
How about home wrecking? You’re excellent at that
Hmm...that is a life skill in Southern California
Randomize
