Taking a 35 year old indonesian home, only in vegas ;-)
This old guy in denny's is sitting alone and he is looking at us and laughing for no reason
i just saw a man dusting the fake palm trees at the mall
...welcome to nebraska
Ikea night.
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Insert tab A into swedish slot B
the best part about being a teacher is there are always 20 little kids around me to blame my farts on
There's nothing like puking in the airport on the way TO Vegas. Something tells me i pregamed a little too hard.
So i guess i slapped the girl sitting next to me leg and said "You know what they say, got fat legs...you gotta fat BOX"
In all fairness I did warn the guy I just spray tanned before we had sex so I hold no responsibility for the bronzer all over his sheets
Fyi: beer caps are stronger then bathroom counters
you should have walked with me to my car. you just missed a girl rip off her bra and throw it into a dumpster and scream mardi gras
Have you ever just like not slept in so long that everything looks like a lava lamp?
Why isn't there a super hero that comes to the aide of really high kids when they kill their car battery?
He has an accent, blue cross AND gainful employment. Just saying, he's going to urgent care once I'm done with him
Do you want me to add this to the list of actions I will state at your intervention
Lol I'm just saying its too early for your penis, I can accept it but at a more decent hour
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