in a basement doing blow off a prince dvd next to a chick in a saddam mask
I don't know whether I should be pissed that there's glitter in my bed or proud that there's semen in there too.
So... I just got back from the chiropractor... And he said I have a slight neck injury from head banging too much. Fuck yes.
I have new birth control, three bottles of jack, and some coupons for micky d's. You wanna have that sleepover?
Just come over and take your pants off. 35 mins tops. You'll be home before midnight cinderella
Okay, guy from work I want to fuck just told me he liked the font on my PowerPoint presentation. It is so on.
Make me proud, climb that corporate ladder.
ok, she started talking about how she swears her step dad killed her mom. starting to back out of this one
I think u should go home and go to bed. If u get arrested in the Ohio river u go to jail in Kentucky. Nobody wants to go to jail in KY.
COME GET ME FR THE HOSPIGAL'!!!!!
thanks for not telling him i named my trumpet after his dick
I found my hair extensions. They were in my hamper.
Calm the fuck down fatty, you can add creme de menthe to a vanilla shake any time of the year
YOU WORK IN THE US CAPITOL! YOU CANNOT HAVE SEX IN THE BATHROOM!!
Dude, you are totally ruining intern season for me...
I'm worried about your health. And your boobs. Actually, health, then boobs. Health first, boobs second. And third.
she was puking nonstop out of the car window in the rain during our hour long drive back, we got lot of honks
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