FYI: if you have sex in your room with the light on, we can totally see your shadows from the parking lot
Your boyfriend has good rhythm though.
May or may not have just drunkenly opened my christmas presents. Greatly disappointed. Might break up sooner.
He yelled IN THE FACE!! while cumming on my face.
All the girls at the party had American flag thongs on... Pretty impressed with coordination seeing as how impromptu this event was
I was afraid that she would smell her boyfriend's penis on my breath while we were talking.
I'm beginning to think the only reason I get laid anymore is girls are fantasizing sleeping with my dad...
I don't remember because I was drunk out of my mind, but I have it on good authority that weed cinnamon buns at 3 in the morning with chocolate milk are better than sex.
Can I come over? I respect you, but I want disrespectful things to happen
You can't have your cake and publicly stick your dick in it too
My Sundays are fucking awful. Can't get a blow job.....can't get a win.
I was going to try being motivated today. But then I took a hit while still in bed.
I'm super depressed and stressed and I just want spaghetti and sex...
Currently rolling a blunt in the bathroom of Planned Parenthood
she's pretty fucking smug for someone who has had unprotected sex with a convicted felon
Naptime over. I've got fresh contacts and tequila. RAAAAAAGE!
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