I really love her but I don't think I can go the rest of my life without anal.
he was so drunk I had to hold him up and he started crying when he heard an ambulance siren and said "is that for me?"
The beer is more important than you right now.
There were 4 naked women demanding my presence. Of COURSE I got into the pool.
My Pizza Lunchables won't fit in the fridge because of all your alcohol. One of our addictions has to give.
While looking for socks, I found my mothers sex toy box. Dear god I finally understand where my kinkiness comes from.
That moment when you cant decide between eating spaghetti or a Popsicle for breakfast
You can't just walk around stealing hats from drunk boys and peeing in bathtubs. Turn down.
we could do so many fantastic illegal things together. sexually and otherwise.
Are there edibles for sale in the Denver airport because if so bring those to my mouth
I woke up only wearing a Breaking Bad "Los Pollos Hermanos" apron he got from Loot Crate next to a 3 empty bottles of Zima,Jolly Ranchers, and a jar of coconut oil. Fernet is one hell of a party starter
My whole life is a joke
Yeah. I’m starting to see why you drink so much.
He just sent me a picture of multiple chickens eating in his kitchen... should I be worried
I might be a bit late, couldn't find my pants and had to go to the police station. Unrelated
eating pizza to get the taste of dick out my mouth wby
Randomize
