I was found on the hood of someone elses car... Who would've thought there were 2 white nissans?
Someone will be leaving this trip either pregnant or devastated.
i wish we had morning classes together so we can spike our coffee.
and i was just like oh shit i'm getting felt up by a 15 year old
Like many of my risky ideas this has "burned genitals" written all over it
She just said, "are my livers going to die?"
haha the sad thing is i can't decide whats worse. the fact that you're drunk judging a science fair or the fact that i'm really proud of you for it.
I want to break up with him.....but he has a george forman grill...like I need that
For the record, it's NEVER ok to discuss my stripper-related injuries with my fiance.
I have a big to do list for you. Number 1 - me. Number 2 - drink wine 3. Talk my ears off. 4. Me again
Almost ran over girl selling candy bars for charity. Pretty much obligated to buy at that point.
I think now I understand why people say my penis is pretty.
Well I took a spicy wing shit in a field this morning.
Its guy fieris flavor town of suffering™
She demanded to see my stimulus package, I had to go over.
Randomize
