STUCK IN CAPS. WANA GET AFTER IT TOMORROW?
Sex don't cost a thang now that you can buy trojans with meal points.
i just walked passed a table of guys by myself.. they looked @ me talked and then yelled 7
id pin you as more of an 8
i'm sitting in the second floor bathroom drinking coronas in the shower. do not find me.
So he might be the smartest man alive. He had the stripper pick him up taco bell on the way to the room for an extra 50 bucks.
I drank entirely too much. My skin hurts to wear
I'm seeing how long I can hold this wine in my mouth. I have so many adventures! I'm like Teddy Ruxpin!
I'm at home, drinking with my cat. While this is an enjoyable lifestyle, other plans are preferable.
its weird that my cat bites every fat chick i bring home. i repeat every fat chick, qhT KINDA FRIEND ARE YOU
Yet he continued to eat cereal out of the glove compartment in my car.
I gave a very stressed out cashier a mini bottle from my purse the day after Christmas. It's what Jesus would have done.
You're a good person. Sharing is caring.
Sometimes I look at her and just start choking. She is that much of an evil entity.
I'm serenading his dick with my words. I understand how poets get inspiration now.
Pillow talk?
can't do it. no eye contact either.
Where have you been all my life
I'm sorry for peeing on you last night. Will cookies make up for it?
Randomize