He asked to "fluff my boner.."
walkin around the woods blazed, drawing pictures of trees and plants, i get a grade for this
he yelled 'rock me amadeus!' when he came
i love that song!
NOT THE POINT
Oh my god it's like Minesweeper. I can tell there's sex in three of the four rooms, but which one is the safe one?
proof that my night is going well: I can still open doors
I want to celebrate with you...
There's nothing I'd like more than a celebratory "The guy I'm doing just found out he's not a baby daddy" dinner.
Ong my arms are moving wo my consent
So the bartender from Applebees totally looks like he would take his clothes off for $40
I like how you possess the gift that turns normal guys into strippers
Dude. I might have just seen some porn i wasnt ready to see. The chicks were so old.
Volunteering at a homeless shelter a bum asked if he could lick me cause I still reeked of whiskey. Being a bumsickle=epic hangover
Lol if he questions who I am I'm gonna send him a pic of his boxers
Me-World Problems: do I have my boyfriend come to my birthday party in drag, or is that too weird for the first time meeting literally any of my friends
Be careful, there is sex in the air.
the twins are trying to figure out which one is the one doing body shots off a janitor in this picture
so I just realized.. of my 70k student loan debt, most of it went toward bar tabs, eightballs, and sweet-ass ties to wear to gamedays and other people's weddings. I think about shit like this while I'm at my mid-level management position. you know. "working."
Look upon your future, America, and despair.
Randomize
