I'm too scared of my Fleshlight to even use it anyway.
So he said if we had sex he'd take me to Build A Bear. My virginity is so worth a trip to build a bear.
You're 20.
IT'S BUILD A BEAR!
My porch is a mess of peanut butter and tostitos...thanks for that.
I never had a problem I couldn't slut my way out of.
So this guy is eyeing me from across the bar. Either the girl I hit on next to him is his girlfriend or he's her gay best friend. I should show him my Penis and find out.
Dude. Do it.
Definitely her date. But she saw it too. So now he used to be her date. Why can't this stuff Happen when I'm sober?
We were dancing and she was clawing my stomach like a fat kid getting to a half broken pinata.
As his dick went in he shouted GOAL at the top of his voice.
Dammit now I'm pissed. Its like I am torn between two worlds. A world of girls, and a world of people punching other people in the head. Both are just so beautiful.
Just thought you should know I'm having a reunion tour of Athens this weekend. Minus the weird guy I was fucking last time.
I just want to pat him on the head, bake him some cookies, and reassure him that, someday, he will get laid.
Help everyone's hot
Men are hot women are hot non-binary people are hot aliens are hot
So I just got drugs from a house with a giant cross on it. Thank you, Jesus.
IDK I WAS CAUGHT UP IN THE TEQUILA SHOTS AND FRIENDSHIP
Thank you for helping a fellow gay friend today. You are sublime and deserve free tickets to the Ellen show
I have commenced my lesbian college experimentation. Wish me luck
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