i just realized that no matter how many potstickers i eat, i will never be asian
fighting downstairs. join me tonight to hear their makeup sex. also, let's make skittles vodka.
I'm pretty sure God is rooting for me with this two gf thing
I cant believe Lindsay Lohan feels like this every day
I ended up taking shots of whiskey and chasing them with potato wedges, I have never felt more Irish
I'm going to pre plan my black out tonight. I think I'll set a change of clothes out on my bed and unplug the oven.
Aside from the fact that there's a penis in my mouth, that's a pretty good picture of me
The liquor store guy just accused me of buying alcohol of minors due to how many bottles I got. The guy should be used to this from me.
Well for number 40 i would prefer to at least like the guy attached to the dick
I think I'm gonna quit partying for awhile. Piercing my own nose is where I draw the line.
At least you got a round of applause for dancing like vanilla ice across the street and into the bar. Even as you were getting carded
I am still awake. And let me sing you the song of my people. Ahem. "I have a bottle of hydrocodone and you all can fuck off."
I nicknamed her "Jackhammer" for the way she gave me a handjob. My balls were in constant pain
I think I was just motorboated by a 4-year old girl.
now whenever i pass that house all i can think about is how i pooped in their yard..
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