Thanks for last night it was amazing as always
What are you talking about
You've got to be kidding me
I checked for jungle juice on Weight Watchers. they didn't have it.
dude, she was giving me a lapdance and her thong had a skid mark. no I did not hit it.
I'm legit concerned I might pass out this weekend from having too much sex.
I took my shirt off and stood in the kitchen for an hour and a half talking to his parents about my tattoos
WHAT? When did I ever refer to one of my past hookups as "the rainforest guy"?
He rode a broom down the stairs while we were mattress surfing. Naked. Buck ass naked. WTF
would it be mean if I put better with the lights off on my sex playlist just for my hook up with him?
Then you bent down and whispered, "excuse me mr. Stair, could you please stop moving?"
I can't. I drank 10 years off my life last night. I need to reevaluate. Sorry.
Oh it's not a problem. Cleaning up the yard and disposing of 75 gallons of Jello is all I've got to look forward to today.
I feel like we should apologize to the light saber. We were REALLY inappropriate with it last night.
Girls - I think I have a problem with stealing random shit when I'm drunk.
Her blowjob technique? Picture someone attempting to drink a triple thick milkshake through a Capri Sun straw.
He fucked me so hard my contacts fell out! Didnt know that was possible.
Randomize
