well we can cross tagging a chick in a movie theatre off the list of things to do before we die
im walking the streets of bville with a bag of cat food..looking for my car. i dont ever want to turn 21 again.
Only thing I know is apparently I danced with a bouncer and we got a ride back from a valet who was driving one of the cars he was supposed to be parking
I have glow sticks stuck to my boobs and a missed call from the 911. I'd say last night was a success.
This is how I ended up being the slutty friend isn't it?
Got to the gym, getting changed, found a jello shot in my shoes.
He expects to fuck my tits but will ignore me in public.
The beer shits the day after completing the World Beer Tour at Epcot are just as epic as the tour itself.
I think he's like 40 and maybe a little sociopathetic and i have never been so turned on
Another text to add to the intervention pile, i see
I thought he was foreign, but it turns out when you're that drunk, an Ohio accent just sounds Russian.
And the sexual frustration is like I'm wearing a damn horcrux
The more time I spend surrounded by Mormons, the more I miss alcohol.
Man I gotta stop stashing shit when I'm high. I just spent 2 hours searching for my bag of pot and eventually found it in fucking a bandaid box.
If my body were a person, it would be beating the shit out of me for what I did to it last night.
You are telling me my dick tastes like a taco supreme?
I'm saying this "taco supreme" tastes like your dick.
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