I just walked by a ginger with a mullet. I repeat GINGER mullet. So help us God.
dear roomies, would anyone wanna donate the booze they left in the fridge over break to the "your roomies snowed in and all alone" fund?
The pine trees are waving at me.
Put the pipe down honey.
Hi trees.
we agreed that it was acceptable to get the cat high as long as we gave her a lot of food.
She's been drinking and was roller blading. I'm sure you can do the math
Any day you don't mysteriously wake up in the garbage is a good day.
The way I see it, everyone on campus has a fake, but I'm the only person who actually makes beer in their dorm.
My bed smells like stale sex...I want it to smell like fresh sex, I miss you.
Annnnd I didn't even notice there is a guy dancing in a jock strap beside me. That explains girls smiling at me
He's ninety percent amazing leader, brother, and teacher, and ten percent unforgivable douche. These are the men I look up to in my life.
OMG I WAS JUST THINKING ABOUT HOW OUR FRIENDSHIP IS SO REAL BECAUSE I SHOW YOU DICK PICS AND WE LAUGH TOGETHER.
Do you find Darth Vader masks attractive?
There are no winners in a lube eating competition.
I woke up with a black eye and a buttplug...not sure I really want to know what happened.
Don't get yourself off tomorrow. We. Are. Having. Sex. That's that. Just dont do it.
Randomize
