So apparently I told him I was off to go "whore skipping" and I disappeared into the night skipping down the street. I know this because there's video.
Starbucks introducing alcohol. i hear angels singing.
I didnt expect it either. But she was there and I had a boner, so i made it happen.
From inside my college history class i see him waving his arms while holding a beer bong trying to get my attention
We decided to have a girls night of four lokos, three of us cried and the other puked
they just named my boobs. Lefty is "Guenevere" and Righty is "I claim this boob for America"
We found you on the floor drooling you kept saying over and over how you were double jointed.
Are you sighing at your phone and judging me right now?
the thing I didn't realize I would miss about college is that at home you can't just dismiss your sex bruises as drunk accidents
just found a someones bra in what seems to be a mix of pickle juice and vodka in my fridge. Who was over here lately?
3 for 3 on getting girls who say "yolo" at the bar to have anal. Not the motto I live by, but it has changed my life.
Erry day erry day!
You don't know what lonely is until you've came in an Arby's Napkin
I have the liquor shits and this time, it's personal.
MY TITS JUST CAUSED A CAR ACCIDENT ON THE HIGHWAY! i kid you not!! i thinl the giy is actually dead
hey sweets how's ur crotch today?
Randomize
