i was born a porn star she said
It would be worth it to see how drunk he is right now.
He cartwheeled into the side of the neighbor's garage.
Ok, i'm coming over
Note to self. Condoms are not microwavable.
why would she cut her hair? she needs all the distractions possible from those texas-sized gums and horse teeth.
She told you broke her computer after the little square in tetris wouldn't rotate for you...
I want to fuck you on the side of the bed tonight.
babe, don't say it like that!
I'm sorry, I want to penetrate you on the edge of our sleeping quarters this evening.
grab my backpack.....its in the fridge
you're by far the better bro. your dick is more impressively sized, anyway
I hate that you know that from experience
I have a scary feeling my mom might switch her goals from finding me a husband in 2012 to sending me to rehab
Well that's the first time I've woken up with wet jorts
I hear sloppy seconds go great with fried rice
If you take a couple more shots you won't even know he's a mormon that drives a mini van.
I have so many plans for this weekend and sobriety is not invited.
I didn't want to hook up with him so I just jumped out of bed, yelled "I don't even believe in god!" and ran out of the room
You know your night is done when the police confiscate your bra at high school basketball game
Randomize
