They left shortly after you claimed the dirty rug as your mattress and began alternating between singing "Dayman" and "Nightman"
If we were to wake in ur bed together, what are the 3 words you would say to me?
Get out now.
Apparently we had sex last night, and then I made him drive me to the beach so I could puke in the ocean.
21st Birthday Idea: liquor store gift registry. Give me a promotion.
Gooodnight my beautiful sex angel. Much luvz for joo, etceteraz
We had sex in the tent after his 6th beer and while we were at it we had conversations with the people outside the tent.
Okay. thanks for sacraficing your body and risking aids for our snowcone business.
These are your "grown up" slampiece's new hours of operation; please plan accordingly
Didn't know hookah bars could end badly. I feel for her hair
things were going awesome until jimmy put out a cigarette in the everclear.
It's the happiest looking penis I've ever seen. It should have a top hat and a spectacle on and soft shoe across the room with a cane. He's a cheery little feller.
She showed up after 3 hours and proceded to make us all feel like resonable human beings. I dont know how she did it but she did it.
Blacked-in to me, shirtless, giving myself finger guns in the mirror and rapping "stacks in the club stacks stacks in the club."
What made you think singing Silent Night while I was puking was a good idea?!?!
You kissed my hand and then put a Taco in it. Why WOUDNT I leave my husband?
Randomize
