You can't hide fat with big sunglasses.
So thats when I found out ur supposed to put the penut butter on your balls not your dogs balls, feels alot better
I woke up with a picture of my dick as my background. still wondering if it was a good night or not.
thankjk goddddn taco bell uis open htis lateee!
you do know it's eleven in the afternoon, right?
I just had a formal request to dress as a boyscout for my meeting with Legal on Friday. From Legal. Time to go home.
These old men are woofing at me..PLEASE HURRY
It's official. 2011 is the year of sport fucking
I just found that video of you jumping onto my exercise ball feet-first and face-planting into my shoe rack.
it's like his dick is making a u-turn.
Yea I almost drowned giving a BJ in the shower once
Their first impression of me was that I was completely naked. So yeah college hasn't even started yet and I'm already that person.
I have an interview tomorrow and listed you as a reference. If they call you, please don't tell them about the time I smuggled a Chalupa out of Taco Bell in my underwear.
I don't know what you're doing this morning, but obtaining Plan B is my number-one priority.
Me and my liver are not on speaking terms.
I think I need to start sobriety testing my Tinder dates.
Randomize
