farters have to be the big spoon...
People kept wishing me happy birthday last night. apparently i was 21st birthday drunk
jersey shore drinking game rules must be edited. almost died. how is it possible for a person to say guido that many times
I guess I should mention that I have already fucked the Fed Ex guy.
That changes everything.
ill give you a picture of me naked for $5. im desperate.
ya, but you'll graduate college with a higher education. I'm looking at at least two addictions, an abortion, and a few weeks jail time.
You called me at 2am singing 'happy birthday' while screaming 'I fucking love you' verses, all while eating a burrito and taking a piss off your apartment balcony
Yeah I know, the people below me already told me
what kind of roommate is she really? she wouldn't even hold my hair back.
You keep saying things....but all I'm hearing is kegs
He stood up, threw the bag of bud between me and Tory, yelled "Fight" and then ran upstairs for the pizza
She really is something else.
Words cannot describe what though. The best way to describe her is to say it like watching a bear and a whale have sex. You don't know why it's happening or how. But it's rather funny and you can't look away.
I think John will remember that birthday for a while. I'm still dying at the fact a stripper was hunting me down.
He serenaded me a cappella to Ed Sheeran. I wasn't going to leave his dick unsucked.
I woke up this morning with my hand on his dick. That sneaky bastard.
There's a guy running dressed as a bunny toward your house.
Randomize
