ur plase or mine? lol
well if you don't learn how to spell, you may be at your place and I'll be at mine.
Watching this movie and saying "drink every time you see an animal" was a bad idea...circle of life...holy crap
Clearly I made an impression.
Or at least your vagina did.
I feel like my teeth are caked on with other teeth. What did I just smoke?
My roommate says its rare that you can be tear gassed before you lose your virginity so i feel accomplished in life
I left the guinea pigs on the dryer. Make sure to take care of them.
I'm gonna take my bong and hot box the pirate ship in the daycare playground.
It feels like I'm being stabbed in the uterus with a rake. That night was totally worth it though. Thanks.
Woke up behind one of the fraternity brothers houses in the grass wearing a guinness hat and aviators hugging a 30 rack box with a zonie on my chest next to a campfire.
30 year old woman with braces and crocs came into the store today with her boyfriend. what am I doing wrong.
Moral of the story: I had sex to Back to the Future last night.
I snuck in through the doggy door to get his vodka. Do you think my ex will know?
I’ll always remember that day you sent me that random nude on accident lmao changed my life
We could have fun in a cardboard box. Think of the damage we could do at an amusement park!
I cam home to find him twitching on the floor, surrounded by unopened condoms and covered in cranberry sauce (yes I tasted it) while Thundercats was playing.
Randomize
